Since its release in 1993, Magic: The Gathering has provided endless hours of entertainment for approximately 35 million players across the world. While the main factor in its success has been its complex fantasy-style gameplay, all players can agree that the artwork displayed on the playing cards is a major bonus. However, as with all great works of art, there are always some exceptions to the rule. The following article will examine some of the ugliest Magic cards ever made.
Let us first begin with some of the most basic cards to have ever made it into a player’s deck.
“The Dwarven Thaumaturgist” card, from the Weatherlight expansion, looks like something from an early medieval children’s story book. Also, considering that this card is supposed to summon a dwarf who practices in “the working of wonders or miracles; magic” (from New Oxford American Dictionary), you would expect some very lame children’s birthday party type of magic to be evoked from this card.
Next up is the “Abomination” card from the Legends expansion pack. This creature is considered to be a horror type, but it looks like something more akin to a bad Original Series Star Trek special effect created for some alien placenta monster. The one thing that can be widely agreed upon with this card though is how unsettling it is. Cue nightmares in 3, 2, 1…
There have been many versions of the “Mutilate” card over the years, but this version from the Torment expansion is a true gem. The artwork is reminiscent of cover artwork from a bad 70s science fiction novel. If you would like to give yourself some nightmares, check out the card search engine on MTG’s website for some more of illustrator Eric Peterson’s work for Wizards. You will not be disappointed.
The “Weakstone” card from the Masters Edition IV expansion is one of the most widely accepted ugliest cards, according to the many MTG forums. This image invokes thoughts of a crocodile mating with both a hairless cat and racoon simultaneously, while also being infected with a raging case of rabies. Only a really sadistic mad scientist would have one of these creatures around as their beloved pet.
And, finally, we have what has to be the absolute ugliest magic card ever made. “Garza Zol, Plague Queen,” from the Coldsnap expansion, is hands down the most hideous card to grace any players deck in the history of MTG. This artwork looks like Tim Currey went to sleep in his costume from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, was bitten by Dracula himself, and then awoke to become a terrifying drag-queen-vampire hybrid. This creature would win every Drag Race reality show on television with her fierce fashion sense, and her even fiercer claws and fangs. Look out RuPaul…
That’s it for “The Ugliest Magic Cards Ever Made” for now. If you enjoyed reading this article, let us know so we can take an even deeper dive into the hideous world of ugly Magic card artwork.